When Sirius comes 'a calling
by Adioso
Summary: Tonks and Lupin were having a pleasant night in, until they remembered Sirius is alone in Grimmauld Place, and there's a bottle of Firewhiskey in the top cupboard likely to be screaming his name...
1. Guess Who's Back

**This story is set in the Middle of the Order of the Phoenix in the Winter/Spring months. Sirius' behavior isn't getting any better, and Lupin and Tonks are happy with their relationship. I do not own any of these characters, I just like having some fun with them. Lupin's mission will be left unexplained, as it has no major effect on the plot. Enjoy!**

Tonks stepped into Grimmauld Place with a spring in her step. She'd had a great day at work, hadn't fallen over anything or even hurt herself. She was also happy that Remus Lupin would be back from a mission from Dumbledore that night. As she walked through the kitchen door, she tripped over her own feet, but she was too happy to notice. She found her cousin, Sirius, sat at the table, looking moody.

"Tonks!" he grinned, his expression changing.

"Finally, some company ever since that lanky lycanthrope ditched me," Sirius groaned. Tonks couldn't help but roll her eyes at her cousin.

"Sirius, it's not like he had a choice, stop being rude," she said defensively. Sirius threw Tonks a fake hurt look. Then he smiled.

"Me, rude? Oh, dear cousin, since when have I ever been rude? Why, in fact, I live up to my names' sake. I'm always Sirius!"

Tonks let out a very unlady-like snort.

"Ha ha, Sirius! You have to be one of the rudest people I have ever encountered in my life! Who was the one who told Agnes Longbottom they 'liked her hat' then cried 'NOT' well within her ear-shot? Who was the one who put the rubbish in Kreacher's den because they couldn't be bothered to dispose of it properly? Who was the one who poked Buckbeak in the eye because they were bored and 'needed a laugh?"

By the time Tonks had finished listing many more memories about Sirius' tendency to be impolite, he was shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"Wow, Tonks, I'd forgotten I'd done some of those things before your little rant there." He looked slightly guilty. "Am I really that bad?" he asked.

"Yes. In fact, that's only a dozen of memories I can pick out about your behaviour, and I've only been in contact with you after Azkaban for a few months! Maybe you should change your ways, Black!" Tonks found it funny that she was actually making Sirius worry about his behaviour. If truth be told, she thought most of his antics were quite funny.

"Na. I'm never going to alter my ways. Once a Marauder, always one, I'm afraid." Sirius did actually look genuinely sorry for his condition. Just as Tonks was about to inject another insult about her cousin's lack of control, none other than Remus Lupin appeared through the kitchen door. Tonks let out a happy squeal and ran into his arms for a hug. It was good to see his face again. Though he did have a red scratch on the side of his face. Lupin saw Tonks eyeing his cheek.

"Don't worry, I didn't obtain it through anything dangerous," he smiled.

"Then how did you do it?" Lupin saw the suspicion in Tonks' eyes and knew he had to come out with the truth, no matter how embarrassing…

"I feel into a thorn bush last week, as I was walking to a house on my mission," Lupin sighed, cringing.

The expression on Tonks' face was priceless. She looked relieved, yet concerned, yet amused all rolled into one.

"I'm just glad to have you back", she smiled, kissing him.

Sirius emitted a little cough in the background.

"Heloooooo," he said. "I do believe I was the centre of attention not five seconds ago, before this loon crashed into my house!"

Lupin raised his eye-brows at his friend, but he knew it was just good humour.

"Sirius, good to see you again," he smiled. Sirius looked at him moodily.

"Do you think that I'm really going to forgive you for ditching me, leaving me to wander around this old dump by myself with only my klutz-of-a-cousin to keep me company?"

"Thanks Sirius, that's a great way to sum up our characters. One of us ditched you because they really wanted to do Dumbledore's dirty work, and the other's a right clumsy berk. Obviously you don't need people like us to keep you company, so I think we'll just leave you here," said Tonks. She grabbed Lupin's hand, and then walked out of Grimmauld Place, although not before tripping over a loose plank in the floor. Sirius was left sat at the kitchen table feeling rather shell-shocked that his little cousin and best friend had the nerve to leave him, and get up to what would probably be (in his prediction) a night that would probably be best spent away from him.


	2. What Light Through Yonder Window Breaks?

As Lupin stepped out into the cold streets with Tonks pulling at his arm, he realised just how much me missed her. "Tonks," he called. "Slow down!"

He waited for her feet to stop pounding on the pavement before pulling her into his arms. He looked down at her dark, twinkling eyes.

"Look Tonks, I really missed you. Especially your kisses. But please tell me where we're going, before my cheeks explode with the cold," he gasped. Tonks grinned

"If you missed my kisses, you'll be feeling alright once we've got back to my house."

With Tonks answering both his questions, he persisted to let her pull him into a random park square, before she apparated to her house. Soon enough, he was standing in her living room.

"Right. It's bloody freezing outside. Lets get the fire on," Tonks began, and with a flick of her wand the fireplace began to spit golden flames. "Second of all, you look shattered, Remus, so lie down on the sofa and lets have a talk."

Lupin was quite relieved when Tonks suggested the idea of a lie down, he was indeed very tired. He settled himself down onto the sofa, and was the soon joined by Tonks.

"So," she started. "How was the mission?"

"It was alright, actually. No were-wolves, no pain, minus the thorn bush incident, and not too much of a struggle," replied Lupin. Tonks nodded.

"Anything interesting happened while you where away?" she asked as she snuggled down into his out-stretched arm.

"Well, I met this amazingly pretty woman…" Lupin watched as Tonks flew bolt up-right, giving him a look that made him feel very uncomfortable.

"Joke, Tonks, joke," he reassured. Just to get himself back in her good books, Lupin decided it was time for some good old English poetry.

"Like some say, What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Nymphadora is the Sun."

But Lupin had just made another BIG mistake.

"Remus! You were about to get a kiss for your magnificent use of Shakespeare, but now, just for calling me Nymphadora, I think I've changed my mind!" Tonks said, glowering at him once again. Lupin decided that if he was ever going to get a friendly conversation with Tonks, he would need to take some fast action. He just smiled and kissed her, knowing that it ought to keep her quiet for a while.

When she finally drew away, it seemed her feelings from earlier on had quite evaporated.

"How do you think Sirius is? I mean, I only got to see him for about three minutes, before I was dragged down the road by a certain somebody. I'm starting to worry about him, you know. He's becoming more restless by the month," Lupin stated. Tonks looked as though she was struggling to make up her mind whether she agreed or not.

"He'll be fine. Sirius isn't a baby, he knows what's good for him," Tonks replied. But the horror stricken face of Lupin staring back at her gave her a slight feeling that Sirius didn't know what was good for him. Then she remembered the stiff firewhiskey in the top cupboard in the kitchen.

"Sirius usually has a drink when he's on his own, right?" said Tonks feebly. Lupin nodded weakly.

"Right," she cried, "Just let me grab my coat, and lets get to Grimmauld Place before Sirius falls victim of alcohol poisoning!"


	3. Half Drunk Bottle of Firewhiskey

Meanwhile, as Tonks and Lupin were panicking about their friend, the man himself was sat in the kitchen, and unsurprisingly, was clutching a half-drunk bottle of fire whiskey. He had reached for the bottle simply out of boredom. His vision was blurred, and he wasn't feeling at all well. Then he heard the front door creak open, and his mother's howls. His heart suddenly leapt. A robber? A theif? A Death Eater? Maybe Voldemort himself? He couldn't resist a chance to make himself useful, even though he may not come to remember it in the morning…

He grabbed an umbrella that was leaning against the kitchen wall, and slowly prowled down the hallway to the door. He heard the shuffling of feet, and very quiet, slow breathing. Now was his chance…

"Show yourself!" He cried, blood rushing through his aching head, making him feel dizzy. But instead of seeing unwanted visitors, he saw a blur of pink, and a tall lanky figure next to it. He reasoned it must be Lupin and Tonks.

"Don't scare me like that again, guys!" He cried, not realising his words were slurred.

"We didn't scare you half as much as you scared us, Sirius bloody Black! Me and Remus were having a nice talk until I remembered the bottle of firewhiskey in the top cupboard! We knew you'd be drinking it, Sirius, because that just sums up you all together doesn't it. What were you thinking , Sirius? Oh, wait, don't answer that. You weren't thinking, were you?" Tonks cried, and although Sirius couldn't focus on her face, he could tell she was livid. Being so drunk, and his emotions limited, he couldn't feel guilt at that moment, so instead he decided to wind up his little cousin.

"Nice talk, eh?" he slurred. "I don't know what you mean by that, but if I'm presumably right, then poor you, Tonks, seeing as dear old Remus is about as virginal as Dolores Umbridge!" Sirius saw the blurred image of Remus' face blush when he had finished speaking.

"Now, please just leave me to my self!" Sirius added, partly for effect, put also because he was feeling a bit ill. But he heard Remus butt in.

"Sirius! Look what you've become! Aren't you even thinking about Harry? You were left in responsibility of him by your own best friend, and you're taking advantage of his trust! James isn't here to stop you, but I certainly can. Sirius, if anything happens to you Harry would be distraught… you're the last person left he has to call a family, because those bloody Dursley's aren't a pleasant lot. Still, their probably out-doing your care and protection right now. So much for a Godfather. Come on Tonks, he obviously doesn't want us around."

And with that, Sirius watched the two blurs shoot the fuzzy outline of the door.

"Bloody Remus, always a right emotional git," though Sirius bitterly. Although deep down, Sirius knew his friend was right.


	4. The Hangover

The morning after, Sirius found himself lying in bed with a terrible hangover. His head was fit to burst. Now he understood how Harry felt with his scar. He pulled himself out of bed with a huge effort, and plodded downstairs. He was met by Remus Lupin, sat by himself at the kitchen table, looking at him seriously. He couldn't remember what he'd done, but he'd obviously offended someone, because Lupin was staring at him with his you-need-to-grow-up-Sirius face.

"What did I do?" Sirius groaned, and he prepared himself for the worst.

Once Lupin had told Sirius about the night before, he looked guilty and horror stricken.

"Remus… Thank you so much for being here right now… you know, it's not easy for me right now, but you know that if I did say anything last night, I didn't mean it. This may sound funny from me, but you're a great friend, mate, a great friend." Lupin decided to give his friend another chance.

"It's OK, Sirius, it must be hard with what you're going through. Just please stay safe, for Harry's sake." Sirius nodded.

"I will," replied Sirius. "Oh, and that thing you told me about when I said you were practically a virgin in front of Tonks… I didn't mean it."

"Oh, I almost forgot about that," Lupin chuckled. "To be honest, I think that became a bit of a turn on for her as the night grew thin, so thanks, Sirius."

Sirius smiled as Lupin began to leave the room.

"Oh and Sirius…" Lupin called. "I'm not sure you should call me a virgin anymore."

Sirius heard the door shut, and was left to laugh at his friend's comment, even if he did have a bad hangover.


End file.
